we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
