just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
