ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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