Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The Olympian is in my bed
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize