lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
