my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
