What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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