In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
