he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
