is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
well most of my day revolves around power hour
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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