Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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