I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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