you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
