I cockslap morals
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
