I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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