Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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