I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
