after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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