No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
