Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I party with great urgency now.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
