i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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