yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
