If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
