how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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