I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
