ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
