don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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