You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
