Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
