It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
