guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
