I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Im part way to drunk.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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