Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You are the jesus of drinking
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
