Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
