you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
