Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
