I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
