your thong is hanging out like whoa
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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