So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
