me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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