If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
