I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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