i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I donβt know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize