That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize