is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
