what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
