So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
