Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
