HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
