Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
