Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
