why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize