I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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