And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
