I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
