i just google imaged poop.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
