wake up i wanna do it froggy style
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
