I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
