I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
