We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
