I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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