I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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