It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
