No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
