Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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