He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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