Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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