So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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