He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize