Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize